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St. Valentine's
Day Massacre
Entries Are Open:
We Will Send You
All Materials
As Soon
As We Receive
Your Registration;
The Entry
Deadline Is
St. Valentine's Day,
February 14
:

St. Valentine's
Day Massacre
Not scheduled:
Almaniac
Trivia Contest
Not scheduled:
Independence
Day
Fireworks
Not scheduled:
Great Maltese
Circumglobal
Trophy Dash
Questions/Comments
The Old Maltese


Notice: We have decided
that this
2023 St. Valentine's Day Massacre
will be our last competition.

The Old Maltese is fine;
60 years seems to be a good time
to say howdy and adieu.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- St. Valentine's Day Massacre

60 Annual Events

coast-to-coast competitions, challenges of logic, alertness, and common sense

quests from the Golden Gate Bridge to the Statue of Liberty in even-numbered years (then westbound in odd-numbered years)

journeys of thousands of miles without leaving home, because they're all done on maps!

This is how The St. Valentine's Day Massacre works:

We'll send you the giant 11x15 136-page 2023 Rand McNally Road Atlas and the St. Valentine's Day Massacre book of instructions. (Entries will be fulfilled as soon as we receive your registration, up until St. Valentine's Day.)

You'll start at the Statue of Liberty and travel (vicariously, by map) across the continent to the Golden Gate Bridge.

Entries are accepted continuously until St. Valentine's Day, February 14.  (The completion deadline for everyone is March 6.)

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Scroll to the bottom for all entry information.

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What has Jeopardy! champion Ken Jennings written about the St. Valentine's Day Massacre? Click:

This is what

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By following the Massacre's auto rally kind of instructions, at your kitchen table or wherever you want, an hour or two at a time whenever you want, we travel on a continuous course over mountains and plains, from page to page in the atlas, from the Statue of Liberty to the Golden Gate Bridge.

2023 is going to be a harmonious year: we'll drive westbound from New York City, visiting Harmony in Pennsylvania, Beauty in Kentucky, Paradise in Michigan, Success in Missouri, Valentine in Nebraska, Happys Inn in Montana, and Carefree in Arizona, on our way across the continent.

2022 was a colorful year as we headed eastbound, visiting Blue Jay in California, Greenleaf in Idaho, Red Lodge in Montana, Vermillion in South Dakota, Blue Mound in Illinois, Yellow Pine in Alabama, and Orange in Virginia.

2021 was declared the International Year of Fruits and Vegetables by the United Nations, and we celebrated by visiting Cucumber [West Virginia], Spuds [Florida], Beanblossom [Indiana], Cherry [Minnesota], Tomato [Arkansas], Corn [Oklahoma], and Strawberry [Arizona].

For 2020 we *saw the C sights* across the continent, from the Cascades to Cody, Clay County, Cape Girardeau, Cash, and Carrying Place [Ontario] to the big City.

In 2019 we saluted Ernies, such as 16-tonner Tennessee Ernie Ford and over-the-top comedian Ernie Kovacs, both of whom were born exactly 100 years earlier. We celebrated by visiting Ernie’s Restaurants in Virginia, South Carolina, Missouri, and California. And Burning Man in Nevada!

In 2018 we honored classic American writers, in their namesake places: Hawthorne, California; Thoreau, New Mexico; Whitman, Nebraska; Dickinson, North Dakota; Wilder, Minnesota; Irving, Illinois; Fitzgerald, Georgia; and Wharton, New Jersey.

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Along the way, we'll ask you questions to see if you are on the correct course. Here's the very first question on the 2022 event, and part of the instructions it's between.

1. ... whereupon Ranger Ophelia tosses her duffel into the Franklin’s back seat and hops in and you go south ...

Question: Which of these do you see?

Half Moon Bay Arpt.
San Francisco Int’l Airport

2. Go left on California 92 in San Mateo Co.

As it happens, #1 placed us on southbound California 1, which we stayed on through Presidio of San Francisco and down the Pacific coast past Half Moon Bay Arpt. to California 92 for Instruction #2.

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Google Street View for 2023 St. Valentine's Day Massacre

Bonus: Occasionally during the rally we provide a link to a Google Street View photo taken along the course.

These photos don’t affect the Massacre instructions or questions in any way and may safely be ignored if you aren’t interested in them.

But click on any of these if you are interested in seeing what's 'really' there [and after clicking on an image you can rotate the picture to look around, and travel up or down the road, as with any Google Street View photo].

As for us, we weren’t watching the road; we were enjoying the scenery, especially the trees and clouds.

in Leg 1: White Mills, Pennsylvania

Estella

Knapp

entering New York

Cherrytree, Pennsylvania

in Leg 2: Interstate 80 in Ohio

Ohio 82

Roswell

Senecaville

Carlisle

Yellowbud

Newfoundland, Kentucky

in Leg 3: Sitka, Kentucky

Harmony, Ohio

Ohio 235 & Ohio 309

Millville, Michigan

Flat River

Manistee River

in Leg 4: Sigourney, Iowa

Success, Missouri

in Leg 5: Classic Car Collection in Nebraska

Elkhorn River

in Leg 6: Mud Butte, South Dakota

leaving United States

leaving Canada

Vida, Montana

Happys Inn

in Leg 7: Moyie Springs, Idaho

Capitol of Utah

Big Water

Kykotsmovi Village, Arizona

Arizona 87

in Leg 8: Carefree Highway

Nevada 379

entering California

Morgan Territory Rd.

Foothill Blvd.

interchange 442 rest area

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To sign up for this winter's 2023 St. Valentine's Day Massacre, send a check (payable to 'Massacre') for the entry fee to: St. Valentine's Day Massacre, P.O. Box 53, La Cañada, California 91012.

The entry deadline is St. Valentine's Day. The completion deadline is March 6.

The entry fee is $69 for U.S. addresses.

If in Canadian dollars, it's $99. For the U.K.: £59. For other overseas: $79 U.S.

St. Valentine's Day Massacre
P.O. Box 53
La Cañada, California 91012

- - and we'll be glad to enclose a gift announcement for you
if you'd like to send a friend cross-country as a gift

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